


Dog Days

by hepatica



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Animal Death, Blowjobs, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, just gay overall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:21:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5823112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hepatica/pseuds/hepatica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ocelot was all thorns, but he was something to hold on to at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dog Days

Venom was heading back to base when he spotted those familiar blue poppies. They looked pretty enough swaying in the breeze, so he carefully cut a few at the stem and bundled them up for safekeeping.

Ocelot was waiting on the landing platform, diligently carrying out his duties even in the afternoon rain. Venom unwrapped his gift and presented it to him like it was something special - like his hands weren't caked with dried blood. 

“Thanks,” Ocelot said shortly, taking the flowers with some reticence. It wasn't the reaction Venom was hoping for, but he decided he liked how Ocelot looked him in the eye when their hands brushed.

\--

 

A week later he found a bunch of round, red peach flowers. He brought them back again for Ocelot, who stared at him strangely.

“Any reason for this?” he asked.

“Thought you liked flowers.”

_Not from the likes of you,_ Venom was sure Ocelot wanted to say, but he took them back to his quarters anyway.

\--

That night Venom woke to the sound of somebody at his door. He wasn’t too concerned: there was only one other officer on base who had the key to his room. Ocelot slipped inside, locking the door behind him.

“Don’t,” Ocelot said as Venom made to switch the light on. He could barely see in the dark, but Venom acquiesced. He couldn’t quite make out what Ocelot was doing shuffling around beside his bed, but when Ocelot climbed on top of him, bare skin touching his, he realised with a shock what he was in for.

“What - "

Ocelot’s mouth was on his, tongue pushing past his lips like he was chasing something. Venom moved past the initial surprise to grab Ocelot by the waist, pinning him to his body. They clung to each other, fingers digging into soft flesh as they kissed. There was blood on Venom’s lips when Ocelot finally licked down his jaw and throat, making a beeline for his dick. He nosed at Venom's bulge before pulling his cock out of his briefs and swallowing. Venom snapped his hips in raw pleasure - Ocelot made a choking sound and Venom stroked Ocelot’s hair apologetically. It didn't take long to get him off with Ocelot’s mouth and hand working his cock like it was a graded skill; later he would hear Ocelot spit his cum out and wonder if he really tasted that bad in the other man's mouth.

Ocelot moved around some more in the dark before pressing his his stiff cock to Venom’s thigh. He rubbed against the thick muscle there, panting as he chased his orgasm. He came minutes later, warm cum sliding down Venom’s leg and stomach.

Venom tried to find Ocelot’s face, just to touch it, but Ocelot was already pulling away. He found his discarded clothes on the floor and redressed, leaving without so much as a backwards glance. The light shone on him for a brief moment as he passed through the door, then darkness again as it swung shut.

Venom ran his hand down his thigh, feeling what Ocelot had left there. He considered bringing it to his lips for a taste, but ended up going to the basin to clean himself instead. In the morning Ocelot still wasn’t looking at him, and Venom could only wonder if he’d dreamed the whole thing up.

\--

 

The days were long and warm on Mother Base as they entered an unusually hot spell. The men sweltered in their uniforms, their moods darkening under the burning sun; it wasn’t unusual for Venom to spend the nights keeping the peace between his makeshift family on the sea.

One evening Ocelot stood on a strut above Venom’s head, twirling black carrot between his fingers as Venom broke up a fight between troublemakers. There was once a time when Ocelot might have been on the ground with Venom, pulling the knife from his chest with a promise to be gentle. He remembered other times when Ocelot might have smiled to see him return from a mission, warmth in his eyes. There was no use in lamenting days gone by - that Ocelot had been a phantom as much as he was.

Ocelot had been waiting in Venom’s private quarters the night he was sent the truth of his existence. Venom had grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him against the wall, looking to break him. Ocelot stared him down, the barrel of his revolver pressed into Venom’s stomach.

“They gave you life, and I can take it away,” Ocelot warned him. “Remember your place _, Boss._ "

He felt no hatred towards Ocelot for his part in the deception - couldn’t be sure if that was due to his programming or nature. He had spied Kaz confronting Ocelot over the matter shortly after, trying to make sense of something inherently irrational.

“Loyalty isn’t something you can pick and choose to apply when things don’t go your way,” Ocelot had said, face impassive as Kaz looked like he might strike him. “You either give it or you don’t. Don’t pretend like you ever gave Big Boss your loyalty, Miller.”

Venom couldn't hear exactly what Kaz replied, but as he leaned in closer he heard: "- may as well be a dog to him, Ocelot - a _dog_. That’s how you treat a damn _pet_.”

“Loyalty to the end,” Ocelot repeated as if it was a mantra. Venom had watched Ocelot’s face as Kaz turned away in disgust; recognised that flicker of submission in his eyes. It wasn't something that could be readily unpacked by others, but it was what had propelled Venom as he threw himself in those flames for Big Boss - what kept Ocelot on his knee in service of that one great man. Venom had wanted to reach out and touch him then, but as if sensing the intrusion Ocelot’s head snapped around, searching for Venom behind the door. Venom made sure to keep out of sight from there on, watching in secret each afternoon as Ocelot stood on the same platform, pointed towards some unseen coordinate across the sea, yearning for a heaven he would likely never reach.

 

\--

The night air in Afghanistan was cool, so Venom went shirtless to enjoy it. Leaning back on the outcrop he’d chosen as shelter, he traced the scar-lines under his pectorals, then down over his abdomen, trying to pick out what had been done consciously or in his sleep. There was one scar on his hip he faintly remembered as having always been there - some accident from childhood, most likely. He breathed out. That life was over; no use in wishing it back.

D-Dog settled down beside him, resting his head on Venom’s thigh. Venom buried his hand into DD’s fur, thinking of the Andalusian’s bones lying on the banks of an African river; how the Walker Gear was decommissioned and repurposed after Emmerich’s exile; and Quiet -

\- best to put her out of mind like everything else he had lost.

He turned his attention upwards. Brilliantly lit by a thousand stars, the sky was beautiful enough for Venom to wish he had someone to share it with.

“You still there, mission control?” he said into his radio piece.

_“Always,”_ Ocelot replied.

“You gonna tell me what this constellation is?”

A huff. _“I can’t exactly see it.”_

“Well, it looks like a stick figure gone hunting.”

_"That’d be Orion. The name comes from Greek mythology - he was a renowned huntsman who boasted he'd kill all creatures on earth. No reason for it, just wanted to because he could. After he was killed, Zeus placed him in the stars as a constellation."_

“Sounds like a nice guy.”

_"Can’t help the way some people are. He’s got a dog up there too, Sirius - the brightest star in the night sky. You tell DD's he's got somewhere to go when his time down here's up.”_

“All right. So what about this one next to Orion…”

Venom relaxed to the sound of Ocelot’s voice listing off the name and meaning of every star he could find in the sky. Eventually Ocelot caught on: _“You going to keep me here all night?”_

“You can read that novel out loud if I’m interrupting.”

He could almost hear Ocelot’s embarrassment. _“I only read it when you’re not doing anything.”_

“Sure. Well, are you going to let me hear it?”

By the time the sheriff was half-dead and crawling towards his abandoned gun Venom was ready for sleep.

 

\--

 

The next day DD sniffed tarragon out, and Venom let him proudly carry the plant back to Ocelot in his teeth.

Ocelot crouched down and pried it out. He gave the dog an affectionate rub behind the ears, telling him what a good and clever boy he was. He stood up and turned to Venom, flowers clenched in his gloved hand, and for a second he saw a flash of the Ocelot he had first known before it slipped away.

"You’re a mess,” Ocelot said, gesturing to the blood on his gear. “Go to the medical bay then take a damn shower. I can't stand your stink.”

DD trailed after Ocelot as he walked off, leaving Venom alone again. Ocelot spoke so easily and cruelly compared to Quiet that Venom felt lost trying to connect with him - unable to get more than a few grunts out when Ocelot finally looked at him the way he so badly wanted him to, he almost felt stupid, paralysed by the worry he wasn't acting as Big Boss might. Had he always been this inept? He couldn't imagine _John_ having a hard time wooing anyone with that easy charm -

His face burned as he obediently headed to the medical bay. Maybe it wasn't something as ridiculous as seduction - he was in his fifties, for god's sake - but he hoped the flowers were conveying _something_ , at least. 

\--

Ocelot came back to his room that night. Again the lights were kept off, but this time he let Venom roll him over and rut against him, dick sliding against his ass. Ocelot was careful to keep quiet, but he couldn’t help a low moan as Venom pushed his head down into the pillow and thrust against him roughly. He squirmed as Venom kissed his shoulders and neck, trying to withdraw from intimacy. 

Venom wasn’t sure what possessed him to cum all over Ocelot’s back, but the other man took it without protest. He spent a moment at Venom’s basin washing it off before leaving. Venom laid back down and knew better than to expect anything to be different between them tomorrow, even with Ocelot's stain on his sheets.

\--

The officer’s kitchen was sparsely populated these days. Kaz had left without a word one winter’s night, taking a chopper out and never returning. Code Talker’s warning now hung over Venom’s head like a death sentence.

“Should have put a bullet through his brain when I had the chance,” Ocelot had said nonchalantly as he buttered toast the morning after.

“You seem like the guy who makes those kinds of chances happen,” Venom had replied, and Ocelot looked over his shoulder with a black smile.

Right now he was boiling a kettle for tea, the rising sound drowning out any conversation they may have had. Venom sat by the table and started eating mechanically: leftover stew Ocelot had asked to be made for Venom with some herb he’d been given. On his mind was sustenance, survival. He derived little pleasure from the taste of food, feeling his soul was further detached from his body than his missing arm.

He was surprised when Ocelot placed a mug before him. Ocelot said nothing and sat down opposite him, checking his papers. The tea was especially sweet, probably to jog Venom’s dull senses, and there was something else in it too, likely medicinal herbs to soothe the pain in his joints he’d complained of after one of their sessions. Put together it made for an odd taste, but he supposed that was Ocelot’s trademark.

“I've received orders from the Boss,” Ocelot said over his own tea. “We’re to start the relocation of Diamond Dogs to Outer Heaven.”

“The real one?”

“No. Another phantom. Of course, I can't be affiliated with Outer Heaven, not officially at least. The Soviets are wrapping up their involvement in Afghanistan too. You know what that means.”

Venom couldn't help the welling up of anxiety in his stomach. Ocelot had been with him longer than any other, the prospect of losing him was almost inconceivable.

“Well,” Venom started, drawing lines in the stew with his spoon, “if you're leaving you'd better tell me everything about you and the Boss so I know what to say.”

“I already have.”

“You only told me what happened. I want to know what we felt.”

Ocelot looked him in the eye for the first time since he’d sat down.

“Presumptuous, but all right.”

Hearing how Ocelot had loved him in another life left a sweeter taste than the extra sugar.

\--

 

He couldn’t remember when he’d taken down Quiet’s and Kaz’s photos in the ACC, but he had steadily filled their absence with more photos of Ocelot and DD. What he was currently sticking up he had stolen and copied from Ocelot’s wallet without his knowing: a photo of him in his youth with Naked Snake, beautiful in that awkwardness of a man shaking off the last of his adolescence. Venom had folded it in half so he might pretend that arm looped over Ocelot’s shoulders was his but -

He stared down at his prosthesis and quickly reprimanded himself. Of course it was his arm: he was Big Boss. He told himself this every day - had to believe it even when John’s face had been folded back from view.

On the field he picked more flowers. He wasn't sure what he was trying to say with them - please stay, maybe? Ocelot was all thorns, but he was something to hold on to at least.

When Venom returned Ocelot looked at him like he was pitiable, but took what he was given all same. Venom wondered what he was even doing with them - probably tossed them into that bin where he disposed of his aborted letters to Big Boss, written in Russian so Venom mightn’t read anything beyond their names.

When Ocelot didn’t show up to Venom’s room, he could only fear he had done something wrong in his role this time. The horn in his head felt especially sharp as he laid in bed that night, picking through every thought or feeling that may or may not even be his - he couldn't even be sure if what he felt for Ocelot was what Big Boss did, or something that had been nurtured by his own heart. DD scratching at his door in the early hours was a relief; he let the dog snuggle into his side on the bed and finally fell asleep, distracted by the smell of his damp fur.

\--

Venom backed off for a few days after that, but a spray of wormwood caught his eye and he was tempted - it wasn't as if Ocelot could dislike being in Diamond Dogs more than he already did. 

“More flowers?” Ocelot said before dusk, inspecting the small flowers. For the first time he brought them to his nose and sniffed, his eyelashes dark against the yellow as he closed his eyes. Venom found himself wanting to kiss that delicate expression on Ocelot’s face before it left.

“May as well take a memento from Diamond Dogs to Outer Heaven,” Venom lied.

“I'm not going to the real Outer Heaven,” Ocelot said abruptly. “There's no room for me there.”

“Then why are you still - “

“It's not a matter of reward, or what _should be_. You just do things because you have to. I have to be out here, and he has to be there - it’s as simple as that. I think you of all people can understand that.”

Ocelot was looking away again, and Venom didn’t want to push it.

“Join me for dinner,” Venom said instead.

“I’m busy -”

“It’s an order. On top of command platform, your usual spot.”

Ocelot looked irritated at being observed, but came along as he was told. DD followed like a needy child, nudging Ocelot’s heel and whining for scraps. They didn’t have much to say to each other as they ate, but the quiet companionship overlooking the sea was comforting. 

Ocelot smiled as DD started howling, and Venom said, "Didn't take you for such a dog person."

"Nobody does," Ocelot replied, scratching under DD's chin. "Don't take that as a compliment, by the way."

They called an early night and Ocelot followed him to his quarters. It wasn’t fully dark out yet, so Venom could just make out Ocelot’s face in the deep blue wash of his room. Ocelot was under him again, eyes squeezed shut as Venom rubbed his cock against Ocelot’s stomach, making him groan as they slid together on the off thrust. He cupped Ocelot’s face, thumbed at his lip and slipped his blunt fingers into his mouth like that might get his attention, but Ocelot refused to meet his eye even as he jerked in Venom’s grip, overcome with wet pleasure. Venom came shortly after, staining Ocelot’s opened shirt.

“Sorry,” he said. Ocelot waved him off and sat up, making Venom move out of the way like he wasn’t there. Venom leant forwards to catch his mouth but Ocelot pulled away - they were done now.

Before leaving he took one of Venom’s shirts and tucked it into his pants so it might look a little less big on him. Venom felt something strange at the sight, almost like longing. He wanted to ask him to stay the night, but he knew that was overstepping his boundaries; he’d rather have him for a moment than lose him altogether.

\--

Asleep he dreamed of Quiet, water catching in her eyelashes as she danced in the rain. When he woke he wondered if she was under some raincloud somewhere, silent but alive.

He’d noticed Ocelot had quite full eyelashes too. He noticed far more about Ocelot now that he was the last man standing, like his soft breathing as Venom slowly undid his shirt, kissing his chest with each unbutton to savour him; Ocelot’s arms circling around his head to keep him there, fingers tangled in his loose hair -

_\- in love with the legend. I was the same way, once._

Venom woke up uncomfortably hot, and stayed up until dawn with the sheets thrown back.

\--

Another night spent on the radio with Ocelot. Speaking between them seemed easier from a distance: Venom’s tongue didn’t seem so heavy in his mouth, and Ocelot’s not quite so sharp. Venom figured it might be easier again on Ocelot's conscience if he couldn’t see the horn that marked him out as the _other._  Ocelot was recounting the entire final act of _The Good, the Bad and the Ugly_ when a strange bird cried out across the plains.

“I can hear something,” Venom said. “It’s starting to creep me out.”

_“Oh? What’s it sound like?”_

Venom tried imitating its horrific cry. He heard Ocelot laugh on the other end of the line and couldn’t help but smile himself.

_“Might have to take that one to the experts, all I’m getting is murder victim.”_

“Too bad we don’t have that ornithologist from MSF hanging around.”

_“Thank god.”_ Venom made a curious sound, and Ocelot explained further: _“If it was up to me, we would have dropped our nukes on those baguette bastards years ago instead of decommissioning.”_

It was so unexpectedly stupid coming from the Ocelot presented so far that Venom chuckled. “You know, you’re always welcome to join me down here,” he offered, trying to pry a little further into Ocelot’s defences. “I always wanted to see Shalashaska in action.”

_“You’ve seen me in action, in the torture room. And you know I can’t be seen fighting against my own side.”_

“The sky gets so dark out here you can barely see your hand in front of your face. Nobody would be able to tell it was you.”

There was a lengthy pause - Venom had pushed too far again.

_“I can’t. I have a job up here - ”_

Venom sighed and let it go. 

 

\--

 

On the chopper home Venom ran his hands through DD’s matted fur, stiff with dried blood. Stupid, _stupid_ dog - he’d ordered him not to run out into fire, but he’d seen his master needed cover and dashed out anyway -

_if he doesn’t do what you want him to, he’s just doing what he thinks is right in the situation -_

Venom leaned down and kissed DD’s cold head. He rubbed the tears off his face as the chopper landed: he was sure Big Boss had moved beyond emotion for a mere dog by now.

Ocelot was there to greet him, having heard what had happened over the radio. He looked down at the pup he’d raised by hand in Venom’s arms.

“Poor thing,” was all Ocelot said, and Venom couldn't tell if it was about him or the dog.

The soldiers arranged a proper funeral pyre and spent the rest of the evening grieving; by the end of it they were jostling for a new mascot to fill the void. Dismayed, Venom left to seek out the one man who’d share his sentiment.

He found Ocelot pointed towards Outer Heaven again. He was bent over on the railing, face in his hands, moaning in pain. It was closer to the sound an animal would make than a man, something lonely and awful that wasn't meant for Venom's ears. He didn't dare approach; quietly crept back into the shadows before he was noticed. As he lay in bed he doubted Ocelot would care so much if it had been him instead on that pyre.

 

\--

_“Boss?”_

Venom opened his eyes a crack.

_“ - sorry.”_

The clouds were out tonight, blocking his view of the stars. His side felt cold without DD's presence. 

“Don’t be,” Venom said quietly. “It’s just how it is.”

_“Loyalty to the end…”_

“Loyalty to the end,” Venom repeated, closing his eyes again: there was nothing to see out here.

\--

He peeled the last of DD’s photos down as the rain came back. In its place he put up a photo of Ocelot reading in the officer’s kitchen, discreetly taken the day before. In here it was easy to pretend Ocelot was his lifelong friend; that he had fought him for his boundless loyalty in that Russian jungle and won. Perhaps he should have felt guilty for harbouring such fantasies, but if one Big Boss had given him up, then surely one with a still beating heart could lay claim. He wondered what Ocelot might think of his wall if he ever found it, whether he might be flattered or disgusted. Either way Venom ran little risk of Ocelot finding it - the man still refused to join him on the battlefield, refusing to defile that sacred ground with a fraud.

He spied the wild tulip fields en route to an extraction. He decided on a whim to trudge back there and pick as many as he could carry once his mission was over. It was stupid, but he wanted to see Ocelot’s face when he came back with something that wasn’t D-Dog’s body.

Venom wasn’t sure he’d ever felt such peace as he did in that field of gently rustling flowers; he might have stayed there for hours pretending he was in a dream if his day allowed it. The wind blew a whisper through the field and he thought he saw DD’s movement in the flowers. Looking for DD’s tail in a mystified panic, Venom heard a bang in the distance - felt two bullets tear into his side. His vision went stark, colours draining as his legs buckled.

He heard Ocelot cry over the radio. “ _Boss_ \- _get down!_ ”

Never _John_ - 

Venom hit the ground. His fingers were slippery with blood as he fumbled for his gun in one hand, flowers held tightly in the other. He thought he heard a howl somewhere - but DD was -

He took cover in the thick spread of flowers, bleeding out heavily as he took aim. He picked off the lone insurgent before struggling to his feet, lasting moments before collapsing into the flowers. The chopper was a dim shadow against the sun as he lost consciousness.

\--

He was dimly aware of Ocelot standing over him in the medical bay. He wanted to ask if he’d gotten his flowers, but the words wouldn't come. Ocelot slipped from view, and he wanted to cry out for him to come back - please _\- look at me_ -

\--

He woke three days later, chest wrapped up. Two gunshots and enough blood lost to drench the field, but nothing that would keep him down for too long.

He turned to the medic overseeing him. “The flowers - ”

“Your pilot picked them up - said something about them being important to you. They're in the office, hold on a second -”

He returned with the tulips in a vase, half-dead despite being kept in water. Venom frowned at them, vision still bleak and unable to recall their bright colour; once discharged he left for his room and tried his best to recover their lustre. Giving up, he smoked some relief into his bloodstream before deciding to chase Ocelot down - he’d been through enough to get these damn flowers, and Ocelot couldn't hide forever.

Ocelot’s room was kept meticulously clean in his absence, likely because he had never grown up with an opportunity to make a mess. He was about to call it a day and just lay the flowers down on the desk when he spied a thick notebook. Curiosity drove him to open it; inside were the flowers he’d picked, dried and pressed into pages, fragile things that threatened to fall apart as Venom turned the page. Each one was accompanied by botanist report Ocelot had scribbled in, a jumble of English and Russian.  

“Who said you could come in here?” Ocelot asked coldly from the door.

Venom closed the book with a definite snap. “It's my base.”

"And I made you. Invade my privacy again and I can just as easily undo it.” He paused to appraise Venom’s injuries. “Looks like you're doing a good enough job of that yourself, though -”

“Look at me,” Venom demanded suddenly. "At my face. I want you to - "

He cut himself off, incapable of saying more. Coming from Big Boss's mouth his confession had sounded childish and bizarre, but from his own heart it was a relief. He was tired of being simultaneously consumed and ignored, of wondering if Ocelot would even look at him with his old face - if he would even look at Ocelot with his old eyes. And then he realised nothing mattered anymore, that the distinction between himself and the self thrust upon him was impossible to separate; what he felt, Big Boss felt. And if he and Ocelot were going to die like dogs for a man whose eye was fixed solely on his own dream, then Venom would be damned if he couldn't reclaim the scraps Big Boss had pushed off his table. 

Something in Ocelot’s face softened, and he looked at the drooping flowers in Venom’s hands. “Is that why you bring me these?" he asked, pointing. "You want me to look at you?"

"Yes."

Ocelot was looking straight at him now, into his eyes, past the scars and the horn and the features of a stranger sewn onto his face. "That's not very like you," he said. " _He_ wouldn’t even be standing here, let alone giving me flowers." 

"I decide what Big Boss does or doesn't do," Big Boss said with authority. He reached over to cup Ocelot's cheek, caressing the skin there. "You said you loved me, once."

Ocelot closed his eyes and leant into Big Boss’s touch, kissing the palm of his hand before meeting his lips, seeking out sympathy in his embrace. 

Undressed and on the bed, Ocelot’s fingers got to untying Big Boss's hair, then worked at his prosthesis when Big Boss expressed he wanted it off.

“Better?” he asked, smoothing the skin there with his bare hands. Big Boss shuddered and nodded - nobody but Ocelot had touched him there yet. Ocelot pressed his lips to the blunt end of his arm, kissing around it gently. Nerves in a tangle post-surgery, Ocelot seemed to chase the sensation around Big Boss’s amputation, making him shiver when Ocelot found the right feeling in the wrong place. He wanted to wrap that missing arm around Ocelot as he mouthed at the skin there, getting his dick hard almost entirely from the tenderness of his kissing alone.

Pulling back, Ocelot eyed Big Boss’s erection. He traced a line from Big Boss’s naval, across the skin of his abdomen to his cock nestled in wiry hair. He gave it a few strokes before wetting his lips; Big Boss put his hand on Ocelot’s head, stopping his descent.

“I just - want to be inside,” he explained as Ocelot looked up curiously.

Ocelot nodded and set about finding something to slick his fingers with. Big Boss laid back, lazily stroking his dick as Ocelot reached behind himself and slid the first finger in, his brows knitted.

“Turn around,” Big Boss ordered, pre-cum wetting his hand as he pumped his dick. Ocelot regarded him for a moment before doing as he was told, getting on all fours so he might make a show of it. The movement of Ocelot’s fingers sliding in his hole was erotic beyond belief. His cock threatened to spill if Ocelot kept this up much longer - but he just couldn't resist leaning forwards and working one of his own thick fingers in, liking how Ocelot gasped.

“You done?” Big Boss said, withdrawing from Ocelot’s body. Ocelot seemed impressed with his impatience and wet his fingers again. Once he was with done slicking Big Boss, he threw a leg over and sank down on his cock.

Mindful of Big Boss’s wounds, the first few bounces were delicate. Big Boss wasn’t nearly so concerned. Panting already, Big Boss took hold of Ocelot’s waist and thrust upwards, the vigorous slap of skin and Ocelot's moans filling the room soon enough. It was painful, flexing upwards to get in as deep as he liked, but he was used to that. The drugs helped dull the pain, turned the pleasure of Ocelot riding him into something like wading in a pool after a sore day’s work. Up, down - water lapping against his skin, a floating pleasure spreading to his toes.

He thought he could keep it up for hours, and maybe he did - he had no concept of time inside the warm caress of Ocelot’s body. Eventually he gave out with a moan, fingers digging into Ocelot’s flank as he came, thick and warm. Ocelot squeezed the last of Big Boss’s cum out before pulling off, looking to take care of himself as Big Boss recovered.

“C’mere,” Big Boss slurred, reaching out to take hold of Ocelot’s cock. Within a few good strokes Ocelot was cumming, down Big Boss’s arm and onto the sheets. Spent and breathing heavily, Ocelot flopped down beside him. Big Boss ran his tongue over his arm, collecting the mess; the taste was sharper than expected.

He leaned over and dug out the phantom cigar from his pants on the floor to offer to his bedmate. Ocelot took a puff and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Should've known why you really picked up those plants,” he said between coughs. Big Boss chuckled. Ocelot smoked some more, going soft beside Big Boss. He stroked Big Boss's loose hair with a strange fondness, picking out the greying strands.  It didn't matter if they were drugged and playing make-believe mere weeks from parting - it wasn’t as if reality would give them any comfort.

Ocelot’s were eyes red and soft. “Is your vision still…”

“Yeah.”

Ocelot moved above Big Boss and kissed his horn.

“Adam,” he said quietly into Big Boss’s ear as he pulled back. “My name is Adam.”

“All right, Adam.”

Big Boss might have reciprocated if he remembered what his had been - just knew it wasn't John, and it never would be. He supposed Ocelot already knew what it was, but right now it didn't matter. He rolled over and held on to those thorns for the rest of the night.

 

\--

Another day, another mission. Ocelot was there to wave him off, his coat flapping in the wind kicked up by the chopper blades

“Can you bring me back some iris?” he said, squinting into the sun.

“I'll see what I can find,” Big Boss replied. His hair tickled the back of his neck, left down from the night before.  

“ _Boss -_ ”

Big Boss looked over his shoulder expectantly. Ocelot made a characteristic shrug: “If you need a hand out there...I'm always here. Until I’m gone, that is.”

He nodded and slid into the chopper, deciding with a wry smile to take down the rest of his wall before he got back.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I got carried away sorting out the John vs legend theme in regards to Ocelot's confession...seems to me he quite literally means he used to love Big Boss's legend (who MGSV splits off into Venom/you) before falling in love with John the man but hey, personal interpretation


End file.
